3

Love: Fireworks vs. Whispers

You’re at a party. Minding your own business, sipping on some sprite, checking out what the other people are wearing, deciding you look better, chatting it up with folks when the door opens and in walks the love of your life. You catch each other's eyes. You smile. They smile. Suddenly, you realize you’ve probably been smiling and staring a few seconds too long. You look away, but it’s already too late. You felt it. The fireworks. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? We all want those moments. But let me ask you something: How often are fireworks a good bet? In light of the current economic conundrum the world is in, it's clear that we have to make better decisions.  Especially with our hearts.  The thing with fireworks is that they start off beautiful, but fizzle out. Sometimes, though certainly not often, you’re left with something that looked good and felt good initially, but turned out to be a total waste of your time. Think Chris and Rihanna, Bobby and Whitney, Ray J and virtually every woman who has entertained him. As I’ve gotten older, and experienced my share of fireworks, I’m beginning to think “Whispers” are a better look. Whisperers are those people who strike you as fantastic human beings but with them, you aren’t blindsided by the initial allure.  You don’t ruin relationships by jumping all in too quickly. You take your time to get to know them, and them, you. You come to know they are good people and have your best interest at heart (otherwise why would you keep them in your life?). They become your friends first, lovers later.* Think Janet and Jermaine, Will and Jada, Chandler and Monica, Michelle and Barack.** Final Word: Fireworks are cool…but don’t ignore the Whisperers. Might be the greatest experience in love and life you ever had. What do you think? * Would you count Jay and Beyonce since they were together for 7 years before tieing the knot? ** The First Lady and our President are by far the best examples.  Though his flyness is undisputed now, Mrs. Obama was clear on her intent not to get with B-Rocka. Whisperer status.