Wahala Wednesdays: Chrihanna & African Culture
Hey people, welcome to another Wahala Wednesdays Podcast right here at Africannect.com.
Today, we'll be discussing the Chris Brown/Rihanna case and how it relates to African communities and African culture. Without giving away some of the the show's highlights, let's just say maybe what has gone on is closer to home than we think.
That said, listen to the podcast and lets discuss. Leave your thoughts on the topic down below in the comments section. Speak up, Be heard. Feel free to be open, to disagree, to agree or to agree to disagree.
Let the Wahala Commence!
{To begin- press "Play" on the Audio Player - if you have any problems, let us know}
For recent coverage about the matter, including Robin Givens & Denise Brown's take on Larry King live, click here. NPR also has fascinating audio commentary regarding the topic and domestic abuse in general, particularly the Hassan - listen to it here.
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First of all, Lola, PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You literally took the words out of my mouth. Lemme start talking b4 I forget what I want to say.
First of all, as Africans (well, Nigerians), there is no such thing as divorce. When we marry someone, we believe that the person we are marrying is someone who is ordained by God, and if we believe that, there is no such thing as divorce…or as the sexy Will Smith put it “Divorce is not an option” (altho i am hearing rumours that homie and his wife r swinging….like really dude? anyway, i digress…ma bad).
But when it comes to things like abuse, whether it is physical o, emotional o, mental o, divorce IS an option. Because if you stay, you are giving him power over you, and that is something that shouldn’t be. Yes, men are the head of the household, but some of them take it toooo far, and start getting power hungry, and they feel that they can do whatever they want. Like where is the love y’all? Where is the respect?
I also heard that Rih Rih hit him first, and that he just snapped and started hitting her. Even if that is the case, why hit her back???????????????? Emotions really blind people. That is why they say “use your head, because your heart clouds judgment”. He didn’t realize that he could lose everything (wrigley contract suspended, radios are starting to not play his songs, could be dropped from the movie with TI, etc). People should think before they act, because there are consequences….
I do agree, divorce should not be an option, but at the same time, when someone causes you some kind of harm, and makes you feel that you are worthless, abeg, gerrout!!!!!!!! You may want to stay because of the children, but has it ever occurred to you that if you DO stay, the kids may be affected? Has it ever occurred to you that if you DO stay, the kids will be worse off? And sometimes, women go into marriage with nothing, and they can’t leave because they have nothing. Yes it will be hard to start over, to pick up the pieces, but really that is better than being in a relationship that is physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. Like Oprah said, “love doesn’t hurt”. Yes, relationships are hard, but it shouldn’t cause you bodily, emotional or mental harm. In my opinion, I would leave, and yes it may be easier said than done, but really, I’d rather do that than be in a relationship that is not beneficial to me.
Whooosh…Lola, i felt like i just wrote an essay…lol!!! Guys please comment, cuz this will be very interesting…
Lolz, keep doing what you do mehn..this site is GRRREAT!! Love ya
xxx
Nice to tune in to Wahala Wednesday today, feeling that title sooo so much! But anyhoo, I think you made some very valid points. I’m really in agreement with your view of women’s alternatives in abusive relationships in Africa. You mentioned if the man is the one taking care of the woman and has all the resources for the woman to be able to support herself, how can she leave when her sustenance and those of her children for so long has been anchored on the man?! It is one of those points that forces us once again to understand culture (African patriarchal culture that is) is not going to relinquish its “manhood” voluntarily unless people that have been outside the culture shed their light on it. And taking an active part in African political establishments to affect its government is one way to start making these very much needed changes.
In the interim, I do disagree wholeheartedly with your assessment…you and Oprah as a matter of fact. LOVE does hurt! It is one of those ingredients that makes love different from hate in that love can hold pain and joy at the same time, while the latter only holds pain. Love exposes one’s inner matter to the nakedness of the sun, and to say it will not hurt at times…is just unfounded.
Keep up Wahala Wednesdays!!!
Hitting someone repeatedly is NOT A MISTAKE!
If you are a hollywood person speaking your mind, please SPEAK YOUR MIND, why retract your statements. Usher was right, It’s not a good look for Chris Brown to be seen all around having fun on jet-ski’s when he should be on his knees apologizing to Rihanna everyday of his life! This is ridiculous, people are afraid to stand up for what’s RIGHT and that’s why the world is all WRONG today and everyone wants to blame everything on someone else instead of looking at themselves in the mirror and seeing the root of the problem. I’m not scared…Chris Brown was WRONG and I probably will never look at him the same anymore.
It’s so sad when I hear teenage girls say “well, SHE must have done something”. I don’t care what she did. He should have walked away if Rihanna started “going psycho on him”. He sure did RUN away from the scene before the cops came. Why? Because he knows he can intimidate and beat her but he WOULDN’T DARE TO THAT TO THE LAPD!
Whenever a relationship gets to the point that there is physical abuse, both parties need to take a serious look at their relationship and at themselves. Usually it doesn’t JUST HAPPEN there are warning signs that your relationship is in trouble before any abuse occurs. They should both have left each other a long time ago.
I try not to get on them too hard because they are young and dumb, but seriously you don’t hit your regular friends, so it’s not okay to hit your boyfriend and/or girlfriend!
What happened was NOT OKAY! All these people saying “Well, I don’t judge”…if it was your daughter, sister, mother you would JUDGE and you wouldn’t like it and you would be furious! I am judging, that’s why GOD GAVE ME A BRAIN, to JUDGE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG! This was Wrong. Both of them should call it quits and focus on healing themselves and their careers.
Thank You.
Tell ‘em, tell ‘em Sherria!!!!
Mehn NO-ONE has said it better oo! What he did was wrong period and a spade is damn well a spade and nothin else. They’re both really silly people… how can u even consider goin back to a guy who HIT u???
my father never hit me, one useless boy will now come and beat me…. GOD forbid. Mehn… I’ll call my people mehn and we’ll do a hit on him, by the time they finish, he will be begging me to break up with his sorry behind…mscheww.
he needs to suffer the consequences o his actions and if his career is hurt in the process that’s his loss. he’ll think twice before laying a finger on any babe again… as for rihanna, she needs counselling Heaven forbid that some1 will hit a whole me and I’ll go back to him, mehn the way I will disgrace the guy ehn… if he hears anything Ri…. he will run in the opposite direction…
Imagine she caught him cheating and he beat her for it.. OMG I will castrate the guy…. useless mofo…he and his family are not well…
Mobola, u are craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy, but I totally agree with you. Chris Brown is wrong. I was just talking to a friend about it, and I was saying that if this boy gets any less time than he deserves because he’s a celebrity (if he DOES get time), then i know that there’s something wrong with this system, and they need some serious deliverance and prayer.
Rihanna is stupid, we have already established that one. if she still has little girls still looking up to her, then really those little girls’ parents are MAD…INSANE…PSYCHOTIC…STUPID…please any other word, insert here…
And the boy is a whole two years (or is it one year…shaaaaaa, he’s younger than her) younger…YOUNGER O…like, omo no get respect…abeg abeg…is the boy alright..how DARE she give him that kind of authority…mehnnn, that babe needs Jesus cuz clearly she ain’t got Him in her life. And neither does he, talkin bout he seeking counseling from the pastor…mssscchhewwww….i hope that pastor is throwing Holy Ghost fire on him…and for every action there is a consequence, so even after asking for forgiveness, know that u have to pay the price…please that boy should do AT LEAST one year in jail (i’m even being nice)…
This is such an interesting topic for the simple fact that at the end of the day women need to realize that men only will do what we let them. Not to take away any responsibility from Chris brown and his actions ( or any abuser for that case) but we as women seem to think that it is our responsibility to ALWAYS forgive and try and fix it. GUESS WHAT its not all on our shoulders! People get away with things like this bc as women we let them.
It is NEVER ok for a man to hit you. And even if you have children, they are not going to thank you for subjecting them to an environment of violence, and showing them by example that that kind of relationship is acceptable.
I have to say I am disappointed that Rihanna stayed. Its sad to see a women that has everything going for her and everything to be happy about willingly subject herself to that situation. the hard truth is that she has chosen despite everything to stay. This is why men who abuse continue to do so, because so many women stay.